13 Comments
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Rona Maynard's avatar

Brimful of love and insight, this is one of the most affecting family memoirs I’ve read on Substack. It has stayed with me since I found it last year. What a pleasure to read it again.

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A. Jay Adler's avatar

Thanks so much for this second appreciation, Rona. Double the reward.

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David Roberts's avatar

I missed it the first time. So glad Jay republished it. Rona, I agree with you.

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Denise Shelton's avatar

What a beautiful tribute, A.J. I have four older sisters. I’m 66. We’re all getting together in May for our middle sister’s 70th birthday. Your story reminds me to pay attention and be grateful. We know not the hour nor the day.

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A. Jay Adler's avatar

A reminder to others to pay attention is surely my richest reward for this effort, Denise. Have a wonderful time with your sister!

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Denise Shelton's avatar

Thanks. We'll all be there. There are five of us. I'm the baby 👶.

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A. Jay Adler's avatar

Babies unite!

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Ute Luppertz's avatar

So much love 🩷

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Jeffrey Streeter's avatar

A truly moving memoir, Jay. As Rona puts it so well, "brimful of love." An extra element to the beauty of your tribute is that I, too, lost an elder brother (in 2007) and your words being me closer to acknowledging the impact of his death on my life, which has been deep.

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A. Jay Adler's avatar

Thank you, Jeffrey. I'm touched to read this, of your own similar loss and its effect. And you and my brother share a name, which I've noted before. Among the many rewards that have come my way from coming to Substack, our connection is one of them.

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<Mary L. Tabor>'s avatar

Absolutely beautifully written: poetry in prose and memory.

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David Roberts's avatar

As an older brother to younger brothers six and eight years younger this spoke to me so much. It was emotional to read so I imagine it was deeply tough and deeply lovely for you to write.

Such a wonderful phrase below to capture the foundation of a sibling relationship that endures.

"...to remind me, against all the growing sense of the illusory passage that advancing age brings to life, that it had all been real and just as I remember, because he had lived it too. That I would be the same for him."

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A. Jay Adler's avatar

David, thanks I get emotional any time I read it over. I like that passage you cite. It's a deep part of the bond. When I published the essay last year, one of the commenters was an only child who said that what I wrote was what she'd always imagined it might be like. That touched me. All sibling relationships are not like that, I'm sure you know, as I do. They don't have to be perfect. They're not going to be. But to have that bond is to receive a gift in life.

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