(Content Warning - domestic abuse)
Crying.
Alone in my crib,
Screaming at fear sizzling through the air.
Sharp, slicing voices rise and fall,
Terror courses through me like a rash.
Flushed, my body damp with sweat.
Fighting rages outside the door.
Endless.
Over time, desensitized.
Like a small animal stalked by a predator,
Instinct kicks in.
Don’t cry out,
Don’t draw attention.
So the violence can’t find me—
Keep out of the fray.
Yelling.
Frozen with fear,
Disassociate.
Brain flips to ‘safe mode.’
Fetal position,
Nerves raw, shivering.
Too little to help her,
Must protect myself.
Awake.
Afraid of the dark, alone.
Sucking the corner of my blanket,
Wet diaper clinging to my skin.
Mom’s screams hang from the rafters,
Her tears drip down my cheeks.
Holding my breath,
Listening for the chaos to end.
Silence.
Stillness creeps over the house.
Waiting for Momma to hold me,
To feel her heartbeat,
To know she’s alive.
Breathe.
Memories flood my bloodstream,
Seep from my DNA,
Imprint upon my brain.
This is who I am,
Who we were.
Broken.
🥀
© Dana VonAllmen 2025 | All rights reserved
This is such an incredible write
I know these feelings and can empathize. It really does feel like screams hang from the rafters. Thank you for sharing. 🦋💚