Glenna, I can't even begin to imagine how painful it was for you when their father served those custody papers. But I do know I awful it feels when a child dies. The vulnerability you showed in sharing your experience is amazing.
For me, the most important words in the whole essay came at the end...
"If you’re in the middle of the hardest chapter of your life right now, I just want you to know this isn’t the whole story. Not yours. Not mine. There are pages still being written that we can’t see yet."
These are words for anyone, going through a hard time in their life, to hang onto.
This is so kind of you to write, Nancy. It honestly was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I spent years repairing the damage. Today, I’m grateful to have good relationships with my children. They have such forgiving hearts and really just want their mom to be happy.
Thank you so much, Erica. I’m glad (and yet sad) that you were able to find this relatable. After missing all those years, I’m grateful for the moments of happiness and joy that I have with my children now. All the work was worth it.
How you kept going, in the face of such despair, is just incredible. Your story is a rip-your-heart-out one. How immensely brave to let your sons go, as much as it hurt you. I'm so glad you have a relationship with them now.
I really appreciate that, Rose. I worked so hard for the relationship I have with my kids today. I made sure I was consistent and stable around then and kept my promises instead of being flaky. I let them talk about how what I did hurt them even when it made me feel bad. We bonded during little moments that added up into me feeling like a real mom again.
Thanks so much, Rose. I won their respect back just by being consistent and keeping promises. I did explain to them when they were adults how bad my mental health was at the time. My younger son is visiting me next month, and my heart is about to burst with happiness.
Your story is a reminder that we are greater than our worst moments.
Mention of a stalker chilled me— it seemed as though you blamed yourself for that, too. If so, it was undeserved. He was as responsible for his behavior as you were for yours.
Sounds like you’ve learned that compassion towards yourself is how the light gets in.
Thanks so much, Martina. I did pretty much blame myself for everything for most of my life. I’m just now learning what belongs to me and what belongs to other people. Showing compassion to myself is the only way I’m going to heal, so I do it whether I want to or not.
Yes, that’s the whole ballgame isn’t it? Healing? If we can give ourselves that, then our lives can become more beautiful and connected to others—the people we want in our lives who see us.
This is incredibe. Thank you for sharing your experience. You are an admirable person.
I really appreciate that, Susan. Thank you so much for reading.
Glenna, I can't even begin to imagine how painful it was for you when their father served those custody papers. But I do know I awful it feels when a child dies. The vulnerability you showed in sharing your experience is amazing.
For me, the most important words in the whole essay came at the end...
"If you’re in the middle of the hardest chapter of your life right now, I just want you to know this isn’t the whole story. Not yours. Not mine. There are pages still being written that we can’t see yet."
These are words for anyone, going through a hard time in their life, to hang onto.
This is so kind of you to write, Nancy. It honestly was the worst thing that ever happened to me, and I spent years repairing the damage. Today, I’m grateful to have good relationships with my children. They have such forgiving hearts and really just want their mom to be happy.
This resonates more than you might now. Thank you deeply, Glenna, for this raw share. I am a mother. And I COMPLETELY understand. Sending much love.
Thank you so much, Erica. I’m glad (and yet sad) that you were able to find this relatable. After missing all those years, I’m grateful for the moments of happiness and joy that I have with my children now. All the work was worth it.
How you kept going, in the face of such despair, is just incredible. Your story is a rip-your-heart-out one. How immensely brave to let your sons go, as much as it hurt you. I'm so glad you have a relationship with them now.
I really appreciate that, Rose. I worked so hard for the relationship I have with my kids today. I made sure I was consistent and stable around then and kept my promises instead of being flaky. I let them talk about how what I did hurt them even when it made me feel bad. We bonded during little moments that added up into me feeling like a real mom again.
You always were (and always will be) a real mom. You earned their respect back, you made the sacrifices. You deserve the title. Wear it with pride!
Thanks so much, Rose. I won their respect back just by being consistent and keeping promises. I did explain to them when they were adults how bad my mental health was at the time. My younger son is visiting me next month, and my heart is about to burst with happiness.
Your story is a reminder that we are greater than our worst moments.
Mention of a stalker chilled me— it seemed as though you blamed yourself for that, too. If so, it was undeserved. He was as responsible for his behavior as you were for yours.
Sounds like you’ve learned that compassion towards yourself is how the light gets in.
Thanks so much, Martina. I did pretty much blame myself for everything for most of my life. I’m just now learning what belongs to me and what belongs to other people. Showing compassion to myself is the only way I’m going to heal, so I do it whether I want to or not.
Yes, that’s the whole ballgame isn’t it? Healing? If we can give ourselves that, then our lives can become more beautiful and connected to others—the people we want in our lives who see us.